Pie Surprise

[snapealina]

Quickfic - part 3

New fandom.... omg what's happening to me?
I think I have the Rammflu!

My friend lindeluren and I decided one night to give each other challenges for quick fic writing. We gave each other a pairing, a prompt, max word count and 3 random words the fic had to include. Then we said GO! and half an hour later silliness was created!

Warning: the following fic is sheer silliness and have NOT been betaread. It is also my first time writing Germanglish, so forgive me! XD
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, this has never happened. I just have weird things in my head...

The challenge

Fandom: Rammstein

Characters: Christoph/Richard

Word count: max 500

Prompt: baking

Must include the following words: earring, bill, goldfish

A/N: I wrote the fic, but then she demanded a sequel. You can see both below.

 

PIE-SURPRISE

 

”Vatt are you doing, Reesh?” Christoph came into the kitchen at Rammstein Mansion.

”I’m baking, of course.” Richard said proudly.

”Baking? Vatt for?” Christoph walked up to the fish tank and started knocking on the glass trying to get the goldfish’s attention.

”I just felt like it.” Richard said while concentrating hard on kneading the dough.

Christoph picked up one of Paul’s earrings next to the fish tank and dropped it into the water. He chuckled. ”Now see if you can find that, Paulchen.”

”Vatt?” Richard asked from the kitchen counter.

”Nothing. Need some help?” Christoph asked. He was really bored and could use with a distraction. ”Vatt are you baking anyway?”

”Pie.”

”Pie? Vatt kind off pie?”

”I don’t know yet.” said Richard. ”Any good ideas to vatt ve can stuff this beauty with?”

Christoph stuck his hand into the fish tank and grabbed the poor little goldfish who had just swallowed the earring and looked a bit constipated. ”Fish?”

Richard looked at him. ”Don’t be stupid, Schneider. Besides, Till would kill you if you hurt his dear little Punky.”

Christoph dropped Punky into the tank and faked a little smile before grabbing a chair and sat down by the table.

”I’m bored, Reesh.” Christoph moaned and lay his head on the table. ”There is nothing to do here.”

“Zen go and pay the gas bill zen. It’s about time someone does that.” Richard said annoyed.

Christoph moaned even louder.

”Zen see if you can find something to put in zis pie.” Richard suggested.

”Like vatt?” Christoph had really no idea what to put in that pie.

”I don’t know. Check the refrigerator.” Richard merely said and now concentrated getting the dough onto the pie form.

Christoph walked over to the fridge and looked inside. “Ve have, ham, cheese, some jam and something in a box I suspect Flake made some time last month.”

“Stay away from zat!” Richard stated. “Flake vill haff nothing to do wiz zis pie.”

“I have no intentions of bringing Flake into ziz, trust me.” Christoph laughed. “Vatt about Nutella?  I zink ve have a box somewhere.”

“That vill work.” Richard agreed and Christoph went over to the cupboard and took out a box of Nutella.

Richard took a knife and smeared the brown stuff over the pie dough. He looked quite pleased with himself. “Zat looks pretty delicious, don’t you think?”

“Sure,” Christoph agreed.

“Can you cover the pie with the dough? I haff to go to ze toilet.” Richard asked Christoph. “It vill giff you something to do.”

“Sure,” Christoph said and smiled mischievously.

Richard left the kitchen and Christoph ran over to  the door to make sure he was nowhere to be seen. He chuckled and walked over to the fish  tank. He put his hand in and managed to pull out a very sick looking Punky.

“Now, now, little Punky. Let’s see if Till loves you just as much in dessert form.”

 ------------------

“Now it’s time for dessert!” Christoph jumped up from his chair and smiled widely.

“Ve haff dessert?” Oliver grinned. He loved dessert.

“Yes, ve haff Pie-Surprise a la Reesh.” Christoph proclaimed to the rest of the group.

“That’s really nice off you, Reesh.” Said Flake. “Vatt is in it?”

“Ve can’t tell you, zen it vouldn’t be a surprise vould it?” Christoph laughed and went to get the pie.

“You haven’t taken anyzing from my box in the fridge, right?” Flake looked worried.

“Trust me. I haven’t.” Richard promised. “You know I never touch your food.”

Christoph returned with the pie and quickly cut the pie into five big slices.

“Only five?” Paul looked confused. “But there are six of us.”

“Oh, I’m not haffing any. I’m allergic.” Christoph lied.

“Allergic to what?” Richard asked him.

“To... nuts.” Christoph answered.

“I didn’t know that.” Paul said bewildered. “Venn did zat happen?”

“Yesterday,” Christoph said. “I haff to go to ze toilet. Enjoy desert.” He ran out of the room and burst into laughter the moment he was out of ear reach.

In the kitchen the other guys looked sceptically at the pie.

“Vatt haff you put in zis, Reesh?” Till asked worriedly.

“It’s nothing dangerous. It’s just Nutella.” Richard said reassuringly and started handing out slices to the other four.

They all looked suspiciously at the pie, except Flake, who started eating at once.

“Mmm, ziz iz delicious.” Flake mumbled with his mouth full of pie.

The others took that as a little more comforting, although Flake’s taste in food was no guarantee.

Richard took a bite of his own piece and that made the rest dig in as well.

“You’re right, Flake. Ziz vass delicious.” Oliver agreed and the rest merely nodded.

“Ouch,” Paul suddenly cried out. “I zink I just broke my tooth. Vatt haff you put in ziz zing?” He took something out his mouth. A shiny metallic thing. “Hey, my favourite earring. How did zat get in zere?”

Richard looked scared. How could he have let Christoph alone with that pie? God knows what else he had put in there.

Richard put down his fork and looked slowly around the table at the others. Flake still seemed to enjoy the food, and so was Oliver. He was about to turn his head in Till’s direction when said man suddenly spat something on his plate.

“Vatt iz ziz?” Till shouted. “I don’t remember Nutella being ziz yucky.”

Richard swallowed a huge lump in his throat and looked at Till’s plate.

“Punky?” Till cried out with tears in his eyes when he saw the lifeless lump that had come out of his mouth.

“SCHNEIDER!” Richard yelled and ran out of the kitchen.