snapealina (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
snapealina) wrote2010-02-08 12:04 am
snapealina) wrote2010-02-08 12:04 am
Entry tags:
Polyjuice Mayhem - part 3
Title: Polyjuice Mayhem
Author: snapealina
Beta:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
valkyriekat
Cheerleader:lindeluren
Genre: humour (with a hint of romance) • Rating: PG-13 • Warnings: massive use of Polyjuice Potion! Beware of silliness and some light slash, male x male kissing
Pairing: Severus/the twins, Severus/Remus • Characters: Severus, Fred, George, Remus, some OCs and other students and staff at Hogwarts.
Word Count: 13450
Summary: The Weasley-twins wants revenge on Severus, but you don’t mess with Severus Snape and get away with it!
A/N: A big thank you goes tovalkyriekat and lindeluren for all your help and incredible patience! I could not have done this without the two of you!
I hope you all like the final product.
Enjoy :)
Polyjuice Mayhem
Part III
“That’s enough nonsense from you Mr. Weasley.” Minerva McGonagall stared intensely at Fred. “Five points from Gryffindor and detention in my office tonight at eight o’clock.”
“But, Professor?” Fred tried. “I didn’t do anything wr…”
“I’ve had just about enough of this behaviour, Weasley. Tonight, at eight. Don’t be late, or I’ll be taking more points.” McGonagall said sternly.
Fred sighed. He did not understand what had just happened. He had gotten a detention? For what? Because he had turned around to tell Angelina something? He didn’t do anything else than what he usually did. He looked at George who looked just as confused as he was.
McGonagall dismissed the class ten minutes later and the Weasley boys packed up their things and walked out of the classroom.
“Can you believe she did that?” Fred asked his brother.
“No I’m as perplexed as you.” George answered. “I mean, she’s strict and all, but that was totally unfair. She could have given you a warning. Not taking points and giving detention. I bet Umbridge is getting to her.”
“You’re probably right. I’m just dreading what that detention will be like if she’s in that kind of mood.”
“You have my biggest sympathy, brother.” George patted him on the back, and they headed for Charms.
Ooo---ooo---ooo---ooo---ooO
“What the heck is going on today?” George stormed out at the end of Charms class, closely followed by his brother.
“Can you believe Flitwick?” George shouted. “Giving me detention for that?”
“I know,” Fred agreed. “It’s not your fault that your quill suddenly started writing in double print.”
“You are wasting parchment with this nonsense, Mr. Weasley. Are you aware of what parchment cost these days?” George imitated Flitwick. “Seriously, I have never seen him like that before.”
“Well, at least now you don’t have to wait for me during my detention,” said Fred. “They were nice enough to pick the same time.”
“Well, it will be a really great night for the both of us by the looks of it.” George sighed. “I just hope that the other teachers are in a better mood. I really can’t stand detention with Umbridge as well.”
Ooo---ooo---ooo---ooo---ooO
Fred Weasley was sitting on a chair in Professor McGonagall’s office at exactly eight o’clock. A piece of parchment at the door had told him in a squeaky voice to go inside and wait for the Transfiguration professor.
He had been sitting in the empty office for about twenty-five minutes fiddling with his wand when George popped his head through the door.
“Is she here yet?” George whispered looking around the office.
“What are you doing here?” Fred whispered back. “If she catches you we will be in even more trouble. And aren’t you supposed to be in Flitwicks office?”
“He left a note saying he was running a bit late. I’ll be back there before he is.” George sat down in the chair next to Fred.
“Listen,” he said. “I just had the best idea ever!” George was grinning widely.
Fred kept looking at the door. Getting really stressed. What if McGonagall suddenly came in? “What?” he asked absentmindedly.
“I know how we can really get Professor Snape.” George was almost jumping in his seat with anticipation.
“I thought we were finished with that? He’s on to us, you know that. We will get expelled for sure this time.”
“No we won’t.” George tried to calm him down. “We will just lose a ton of points and get detention for the rest of the school year. But I promise you. It will be worth it.”
He partly had Fred’s attention now.
“Wouldn’t it be just brilliant if we could make Professor Snape kiss a student in the middle of the Great Hall?” George was beaming.
“That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard, George.” Fred was sceptical.
“Why? It would be the ultimate prank.” George wouldn’t let it go.
“Of course it would, if you have a death wish. And how are we going to do that, exactly? And why?” Fred looked at his brother in disbelief.
“The way we have done everything else, of course.” George pulled out a phial from his pocket.
“I thought we were out of potion.” Fred said surprised.
“I found one I had forgotten about. I take that as a sign to end this thing with a bang. Don’t you?” George laughed.
“Well…” Fred hesitated. “You may have a point. It would be brilliant if we could make him do that.” He smiled a tiny, careful smile.
“So, here’s the potion,” George gave the phial to Fred before pulling out a pile of black fabric. “And I guess the Potions master must rethink his wards, because I managed to snatch one of his robes from a hanger in his room. And look, here’s a hair from our dear Professor too.” George pulled a long black hair from the robes and laid it in front of his brother who looked absolutely stunned.
“You managed to do all that in this short time?” Fred sounded impressed. His brother had really put his heart and soul into this prank.
“Yeah, I had to set off seven Dungbombs right outside his door to get him out of there and will probably be held responsible for that for ages, seeing everything like that is always our fault, but it will be worth it.” George chuckled.
“So are you with me? You’ll do it?” George asked with eagerness.
“I’m supposed to do it?” Fred yelled, he had forgotten all about McGonagall now. “Why not you? It was your idea.”
“Because you’re the better at acting like these poor victims, and the bonus is that you’ll get to kiss a pretty girl.” George said with a flattery voice.
“Why, thanks…” Fred was still not convinced. “And who am I supposed to kiss? Just so you know, my last kiss still makes me want to vomit.”
“I’m pretty sure you’re not the only one that feels that way,” George looked as he was being sick. “But this time it’s Miss Ronton. Wouldn’t it be brilliant if Snape just walked up to her in the middle of the Great Hall and planted a big, wet one right on her?”
“Rhonda Ronton? I guess I can do that.” Fred considered it. “But I’m still not so sure this is a good idea, George.”
“I’ll do your homework for a week.” George suggested.
“If you throw in my detentions with Umbridge you’ve got yourself a deal.” Fred bargained.
“As long as I’m not supposed to be in the same one, agreed.” George nodded.
“Fine,” said Fred reluctantly. “Give me the potion. I’ll be the damn git. But how are we going to get him out of the Great Hall?”
“Leave that to me. I have a plan.” George smiled. “What you shall do is drink the potion just before dinner tomorrow, sit at the staff table, eat a little bit and then suddenly go over to the Ravenclaw table and kiss Rhonda Ronton. Do you think you could do that? You don’t even have to say anything. Just go over there and kiss her.”
Fred nodded.
“But you have to promise me that you never mention this to anyone.”
“Do you think I’m an idiot? Of course I won’t.” Fred was getting annoyed.
“Not even to me.” George continued. “You have to promise me that you don’t mention this to me either. You never know who might be watching, and you know Snape’s already suspicious.”
“Fine.” Fred agreed. “I promise.”
“Shake on it.” George held out his hand. “We will never talk about this, agreed?”
Fred took his brothers hand confusedly. “Agreed.”
“Okay, I have to get back to Flitwicks office now. See you later.” George jumped up from his chair and ran out of the room.
Ooo---ooo---ooo---ooo---ooO
In Filius Flitwick’s office, George Weasley had almost fallen asleep with his head on a desk. He had been waiting for almost twenty minutes for the Charms professor, but there was still no sign of him. George didn’t dare to leave either; he wouldn’t risk getting more detention this week. He suddenly jumped up when he felt a book whack the back of his head.
“Wake up sleepyhead,” Fred stood over him smiling.
“What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be with McGonagall. If she or Flitwick catches you…” George was rubbing his eyes to make sure that he was seeing right.
“Oh, I’ll be out of here in a minute. Don’t worry. McGonagall left a note saying she was running late, and I’d just had an epiphany.” Fred sat down next to his brother.
“Epiphany?”
“Yes, one final big bang prank to our dear Potions Master.” Fred smiled.
“I thought we gave that up. It was too risky.” George argued.
“But I have an idea for the most brilliant final of all. I think it’s time to bring out poor Rhonda Ronton again.” Fred wouldn’t let it go.
“Rhonda? Why?”
“That was the best one, don’t you think? I want her to declare her undying love for Snape in front of the entire school. That would be so awesome.”
“But she’ll get expelled! Or we would…”
“No, we’ll make sure that she has an alibi for not being there, so she’ll be off the hook in the end. I promise.”
“And even if we would want to do it, we’re out of potion. It would take more than a month to make, and not to mention all the hassle it would be for Tonks and Sirius?”
“Tonks and Sirius?” Fred looked confused.
“Yes, how else are we going to get the ingredients? Unless you want to break into Snape’s office, of course.” George answered.
Fred was quiet for a minute until he finally said. “Er… no of course I don’t want to do that. But we don’t have to hassle Sirius and Tonks. Look what I found?” He held up a phial. “I found one in our dorm. I had totally forgotten about this one.”
“One of the spare ones?” George asked.
“Yeah,” Fred agreed. “And I have a hair left over from last time we used Rhonda.” Fred held up a second phial and smiled. He handed it to George.
“Me?”
“Yes. I had to kiss the git, so you owe me one. Besides, you’re the better actor. I’ll take care of everything else. I have a plan to keep Rhonda and a friend away from the Great Hall at dinner tomorrow. So your part is to drink this just before dinner, sit down at the Ravenclaw table at dinner and act like Rhonda like last time. When dinner is at its busiest, stand up, get everyone’s attention and announce to the whole school your undying love for the sexy beast we all call Professor Snape.” Fred started laughing.
George took the phial. ”Fine, I’ll do it,” he sighed. “But only because you had to kiss the bastard.”
“Oh, it wasn’t that bad.” Fred said casually.
George gasped and looked at him in horror. “What?”
“Just kidding. Relax, brother. Just think about how awesome tomorrow’s going to be.”
“Well, I’ll be glad when it’s finished.” George admitted.
“Me too, but it’s Christmas soon, and I couldn’t bare going home without finishing this with style!” Fred chuckled. “But you have to promise me that you never talk about this to anyone.”
“Like I would have done that.”
Ooo---ooo---ooo---ooo---ooO
Fred Weasley lay in bed that night, not able to sleep. He thought about what he was supposed to do the following day, and he felt his stomach turn. He had a really bad feeling about this prank and was sure it was going to go horribly wrong. Why had he agreed to this? They were going to get expelled for sure.
The thought of his brother’s eagerness was perhaps the main reason why Fred had agreed to this madness. He had always felt that he was the initiator in this prank and that George had at times just reluctantly agreed to it. So now that his brother suddenly had come up with a prank so huge and done all that work, Fred felt obliged to go through with this. He owed his brother that much, even if he was sure that Snape would kill him, or Umbridge would have him sent to Azkaban. And George was right about one thing: If they managed to pull this off, it would be the prank of the millennium!
George Weasley was lying in his bed too. Wide awake. He was livid. He really didn’t want to do the final Polyjuice prank the following day. Snape was already suspicious and this would definitely expose them. Why had he agreed to this? So what if Fred had kissed Snape last time? It wasn’t as if George had forced him to do it? He still had a feeling that Fred was a bit too much into this prank for his own good.
But he would do it. Fred said he had taken care of everything, and he trusted him. Besides, it would be over after this time. At least George hoped so. But he was still mad at him and decided that this was the last time he would let his brother control him like that. After new years it would be no more Mister-Nice-George. If he didn’t want to do something, he would not do it!
“George,” Fred whispered.
“Umphg,” George grunted back.
“About this thing we’re doing tomorrow…” Fred started.
“We agreed not to talk about it, didn’t we?” George huffed back.
“Yes,” Fred answered.
“Then we are not going to talk about it. Good night.” George said and turned his back on his brother and pretended to be asleep.
Ooo---ooo---ooo---ooo---ooO
Fred Weasley looked at the time. Another twenty minutes until classes were done for the day. He glanced over at his brother who looked as he was thinking the exact same thing. A part of Fred couldn’t wait for Umbridge to finish the extremely boring Defence Against the Dark Arts-lesson, but another part of him didn’t want it to end ever. Dinner was coming up and although Fred could feel his stomach growl, he knew he was not going to get down a single pea.
He was feeling a mixture of excitement and fright about what he was about to do. He was terrified and had a really bad feeling, but at the same time he kept thinking about how brilliant the prank was if they actually managed to get away with it. He continued copying the text Toadface had set them to do, but had no idea what he was writing. A few minutes later Umbridge dismissed her class and the twins started packing up their things.
Out in the hallway both of them stopped and looked at each other.
“Er, I just have to go… you know.” George mumbled and left his brother.
“Yeah, me too,” Fred mumbled back and went towards the bathroom nearest the Great Hall.
He went into a cubicle and locked the door behind him. He pulled out the black robes from his book bag and slowly changed into the outfit. He put his own clothes back into the bag and took out the phials with the potion and the hair.
He swallowed hard and put the hair into the potion. Instantly it turned into something that reminded Fred of oil. He gathered himself and tossed down the potion. Even if this was hardly the first time drinking this stuff, Fred could never get used to it. And the very thought of drinking a part of Snape made the taste even worse.
He felt his skin prickle and knew that the changing had started.
After a few minutes Fred unlocked the door to the cubicle and went out and into the bathroom. He hid his bag in a corner and went over to the sinks and the mirrors. He looked up and looked straight into the face of Professor Severus Snape.
It was the weirdest thing Fred had ever seen, and he suddenly had an idea. He just had to try this. He looked in the mirror and smiled. The widest smile, the biggest grin he could muster. The look of the Potions Master smiling was the strangest picture ever. Fred started laughing, and the thought of Severus Snape standing there smiling and laughing made Fred feel a lot better. He could really do a lot of mayhem in this body if he wanted to. He just prayed that George did his part of the deal and kept the real Severus Snape a long way from the Great Hall.
Fred took a deep breath and put on a more typical Snape-face. Then he walked out of the bathroom and into the Great Hall.
No Snape was in sight, and Fred took his place at the staff table. The dinner appeared and people started filling their plates with various foods. Fred’s eyes glided across the room. It was a strange experience seeing the Great Hall from this angle. His eyes fell automatically on the Gryffindor table. There he could see Ron, Harry and Hermione sitting huddled together as usual. He saw Lee Jordan filling his plate. He looked quite alone, Fred thought and then it struck him that he didn’t see George anywhere. He searched the room, but couldn’t see his brother anywhere. And since Fred himself was at the staff table, it was no wonder Lee looked alone. Fred decided that George was probably off dealing with the keeping-Snape-away-from-the-Great-Hall-plan and continued looking at the house tables.
He noticed that Ginny was sending weird looks over to the Ravenclaw table, and noticed that she was looking at a boy he believed was called Michael Corner. He made a mental note to check up on this issue later and feed the boy some Noseblead Nougat or something. His eyes continued scrolling the Ravenclaw table and his eyes fell on Rhonda Ronton. Fred got a big knot in his stomach by the sudden reminder of the thing he was there to do. He looked at the poor girl. She looked completely lost and out of place. Everybody around her was talking, laughing and eating, but Rhonda looked pale and a bit shaky. She smiled politely to the Ravenclaws next to her, but Fred never saw her say anything.
He was brutally interrupted by Hagrid who nudged him and asked him to pass the salt. Fred just mumbled something he couldn’t even make out himself and passed Hagrid the salt shaker. He then realized that all the other members of staff had started eating a long time ago and his plate was still empty. He quickly grabbed some of the nearest dishes and took one bite, just to not drag any attention to himself. But Fred couldn’t eat much. His stomach would not be able to hold anything down at this state. So he sat there, pretending to eat and get distracted by everything and scowled at anyone that sent any kind of look in his direction.
His eyes fell back on the Ravenclaw table again. He located Rhonda Ronton and noticed that she looked less out of place now. She seemed to be joining in on the conversations, something that made Fred feel a lot better. This girl was going to get a major surprise in a few minutes and Fred would have felt a lot guiltier if he knew that the girl was struggling with a ton of other issues in addition to being kissed by a snarky teacher.
Fred forgot that he was impersonating Snape and continued to stare at Rhonda. He didn’t snap out of it before Rhonda Ronton’s look met his. They looked at each other for a minute before Rhonda suddenly winked at him. She gave him a seductive smile kept staring. Fred flinched. What had just happened? Why was she looking at him like that? She wasn’t supposed to look at him like that? He was Snape for Merlin’s sake. No student would look at Snape like that, would they?
Fred was confused. Did Rhonda Ronton actually like Snape? That would make this situation a lot different than they thought. Perhaps this was a bonus, Fred thought to himself. If this girl actually fancied Snape, then she would definitely not push him away when he would try to kiss her. He looked at the time. Fifty minutes had passed since he had drunk the potion, his time as Snape was almost up. It was now or never.
Fred gathered all his courage and rose from his seat. In all his concentration around the task he was about to complete he managed to knock over his chair and make a racket which made the whole room go quiet and everyone looked at him. He tried his best not to let it get to him and act as snapeish as he could. He kept his head held high and started walking from the staff table and headed for the Ravenclaw table. All eyes in the Great Hall were on him, and Fred felt nauseous.
Suddenly Rhonda Ronton got up and stepped onto the bench and then the table, making everyone look at her instead of the Potions Master. Fred stopped abruptly. What was going on? What was she doing? This would ruin his plan. He looked at the Ravenclaw girl standing on the table, totally terrified.
“Miss Ronton, will you please step down,” Minerva McGonagall called from the staff table.
“This will only take a minute, Professor,” the girl answered. “I just have to say something.”
The entire school was watching as the girl cleared her throat and pulled a piece of parchment out of her pocket.
“There is a man, who I deeply desire
A man that have set my poor heart on fire
He’s snarky and mean, but I want him to kiss me
And never again to ever dismiss me
I want him to rub my body with lotion
‘Cause everyone knows he’s the master of potion
I want to feel you and your every shape.
I love you forever, Severus Snape.”
The crowd started whispering like maniacs. Fred Weasley in Severus Snape’s body stood petrified glaring at the Ravenclaw girl who was still standing on the table.
This girl was really in love with Snape! Fred had to seize this opportunity. Maybe they would actually get away with this? He decided to go for it. He rushed over to the Ravenclaw table and climbed onto the table.
He grabbed Rhonda Ronton around the waist and felt the girl struggle to get out of his grip. But he held her firmly, noticing how much stronger the professor was, and kissed the squirming girl.
Fred noticed a lot flashing light coming from the Gryffindor table, and he heard the crowd gasp, but he didn’t let go of the girl until he heard Dumbledore call from the staff table: “Professor Snape and Miss Ronton, will you join me in my office, right now?”
“Just a moment, Professor Dumbledore,” a voice called from the other side of the room. Everyone turned their heads and looked at another Severus Snape standing in the doorway.
Severus Snape pointed his wand at the two people standing on the table and Fred felt his feet stick to the table. He couldn’t move. He noticed that Rhonda Ronton had the same problem. Fred was starting to panic. The two were stuck at the table as the real Severus Snape came closer.
“What is going on Severus?” Dumbledore looked confused.
“This behaviour is absolutely unacceptable,” Dolores Umbrigde exclaimed. “I would have to tell the ministry about this.” She got up and was about to leave the room when Dumbledore got her to sit down and listen to what the Professor had to say.
The two people on the table were writhing and squirming desperately to get away, but neither of them could move. They were pressed against each other and Fred felt Rhonda Ronton getting as desperate as him to get away.
“Well, as even the slowest of you have probably realized by now, is that that person is obviously not me.” Severus Snape spoke as he walked towards the Ravenclaw table. “But I’m not the only one that has been the object to this unbelievable childish prank. Will you come out, Miss Ronton.” ‘
The students and faculty turned their heads against the doorway again as the real Rhonda Ronton stepped into the room.
Fred’s heart sank. If that was Rhonda Ronton, that meant that this person standing pressed against his own body would have to be…
The thought made Fred want to throw up. He looked at the person next to him and saw that George had obviously figured this out before him because he looked the exact same way.
The two twins were standing on the table, all eyes on them and not able to move. Fred looked at his brother who looked back in contempt.
“I’m sorry,” Fred whispered to his brother.
“You should be,” George hissed back, and Fred saw that his twin was starting to change back into his normal self. He looked at his own hands and felt the change start on himself as well.
The crowd gasped as their Potions professor and the girl started changing into the Weasley twins. The Slytherin table burst out laughing, while the Gryffindors were still in shock by the whole thing.
“Well, it looks like there’s no more explaining to do,” Severus Snape smirked as he looked at the twins on the table.
“Well, Severus and Miss Ronton, will you still join me in my office?” Dumbledore couldn’t help but smile a little. “Mister Weasley and Mister Weasley will be joining us of course. The rest of you can go back to your meals if any of you are capable of eating after this incidence.”
Fred felt the spell lift and he could once again move his feet. But his hand was still stuck to George’s waist. The both of them threw themselves off the table and Fred grabbed the nearest goblet and tried to rinse the taste out of his mouth. He grabbed a napkin and tried to scrape his tongue. He looked at his brother right next to him, and he was doing the exact same thing. Meanwhile he could hear three of the four house tables laughing.
He glanced over at the Gryffindor table where the whole lot seemed to want to die of embarrassment. Their house would probably be struggling with negative house points for the rest of the year even if the twins weren’t around to see it.
Fred and George looked at each other and both tried desperately to pull away from the other, but Snape’s spell was too strong for them, and they had no chance. Minerva McGonagall led them out of the Great Hall and up to Professor Dumbledore’s office.
Ooo---ooo---ooo---ooo---ooO
“I must see I get a bit jealous watching you kiss this girl, Severus,” Remus chuckled. He was looking at one of the forty-seven photos Severus had managed to “confiscate” after the incident.
“Don’t try to be funny, Lupin,” Severus muttered. “I still can’t believe Albus didn’t expel the two mongrels.”
“Don’t be so bitter, Severus” Remus smiled at his lover. “You got your revenge and got to humiliate them in public. They won’t try messing with you or anybody else for a very long time after this.”
“I know, but I still have to see their freckled faces every day.” Severus sighed. “The only comfort is that Umbridge is keeping an even closer eye on them now.”
“Well, order meetings will surely never be the same after this,” Remus sniggered. “I still can’t face Molly without chocking back a laugh.”
“Well, maybe this will shut her up for a while,” Severus grinned.
“You are a genius, Severus,” Remus kissed him gently. “Has anybody told you that?”
“Not this week, no.” Severus laughed.
“Do you have any more of that potion by the way?” Remus asked him.
“Why?” Severus answered sceptical.
“Oh, nothing, I just have a little plan of my own.” Remus winked. “I think it’s about high time that Sirius gets a little taste of his own medicine.”
“I’m beginning to think I’m a bad influence on you, Lupin,” Severus chuckled.
“Oh, you should have known, Severus.” Remus smiled and squeezed his lover in a tight hug.
Author: snapealina
Beta:
valkyriekat Cheerleader:
lindeluren Genre: humour (with a hint of romance) • Rating: PG-13 • Warnings: massive use of Polyjuice Potion! Beware of silliness and some light slash, male x male kissing
Pairing: Severus/the twins, Severus/Remus • Characters: Severus, Fred, George, Remus, some OCs and other students and staff at Hogwarts.
Word Count: 13450
Summary: The Weasley-twins wants revenge on Severus, but you don’t mess with Severus Snape and get away with it!
A/N: A big thank you goes to
valkyriekat and lindeluren for all your help and incredible patience! I could not have done this without the two of you! I hope you all like the final product.
Enjoy :)
Polyjuice Mayhem
Part III
“That’s enough nonsense from you Mr. Weasley.” Minerva McGonagall stared intensely at Fred. “Five points from Gryffindor and detention in my office tonight at eight o’clock.”
“But, Professor?” Fred tried. “I didn’t do anything wr…”
“I’ve had just about enough of this behaviour, Weasley. Tonight, at eight. Don’t be late, or I’ll be taking more points.” McGonagall said sternly.
Fred sighed. He did not understand what had just happened. He had gotten a detention? For what? Because he had turned around to tell Angelina something? He didn’t do anything else than what he usually did. He looked at George who looked just as confused as he was.
McGonagall dismissed the class ten minutes later and the Weasley boys packed up their things and walked out of the classroom.
“Can you believe she did that?” Fred asked his brother.
“No I’m as perplexed as you.” George answered. “I mean, she’s strict and all, but that was totally unfair. She could have given you a warning. Not taking points and giving detention. I bet Umbridge is getting to her.”
“You’re probably right. I’m just dreading what that detention will be like if she’s in that kind of mood.”
“You have my biggest sympathy, brother.” George patted him on the back, and they headed for Charms.
Ooo---ooo---ooo---ooo---ooO
“What the heck is going on today?” George stormed out at the end of Charms class, closely followed by his brother.
“Can you believe Flitwick?” George shouted. “Giving me detention for that?”
“I know,” Fred agreed. “It’s not your fault that your quill suddenly started writing in double print.”
“You are wasting parchment with this nonsense, Mr. Weasley. Are you aware of what parchment cost these days?” George imitated Flitwick. “Seriously, I have never seen him like that before.”
“Well, at least now you don’t have to wait for me during my detention,” said Fred. “They were nice enough to pick the same time.”
“Well, it will be a really great night for the both of us by the looks of it.” George sighed. “I just hope that the other teachers are in a better mood. I really can’t stand detention with Umbridge as well.”
Ooo---ooo---ooo---ooo---ooO
Fred Weasley was sitting on a chair in Professor McGonagall’s office at exactly eight o’clock. A piece of parchment at the door had told him in a squeaky voice to go inside and wait for the Transfiguration professor.
He had been sitting in the empty office for about twenty-five minutes fiddling with his wand when George popped his head through the door.
“Is she here yet?” George whispered looking around the office.
“What are you doing here?” Fred whispered back. “If she catches you we will be in even more trouble. And aren’t you supposed to be in Flitwicks office?”
“He left a note saying he was running a bit late. I’ll be back there before he is.” George sat down in the chair next to Fred.
“Listen,” he said. “I just had the best idea ever!” George was grinning widely.
Fred kept looking at the door. Getting really stressed. What if McGonagall suddenly came in? “What?” he asked absentmindedly.
“I know how we can really get Professor Snape.” George was almost jumping in his seat with anticipation.
“I thought we were finished with that? He’s on to us, you know that. We will get expelled for sure this time.”
“No we won’t.” George tried to calm him down. “We will just lose a ton of points and get detention for the rest of the school year. But I promise you. It will be worth it.”
He partly had Fred’s attention now.
“Wouldn’t it be just brilliant if we could make Professor Snape kiss a student in the middle of the Great Hall?” George was beaming.
“That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard, George.” Fred was sceptical.
“Why? It would be the ultimate prank.” George wouldn’t let it go.
“Of course it would, if you have a death wish. And how are we going to do that, exactly? And why?” Fred looked at his brother in disbelief.
“The way we have done everything else, of course.” George pulled out a phial from his pocket.
“I thought we were out of potion.” Fred said surprised.
“I found one I had forgotten about. I take that as a sign to end this thing with a bang. Don’t you?” George laughed.
“Well…” Fred hesitated. “You may have a point. It would be brilliant if we could make him do that.” He smiled a tiny, careful smile.
“So, here’s the potion,” George gave the phial to Fred before pulling out a pile of black fabric. “And I guess the Potions master must rethink his wards, because I managed to snatch one of his robes from a hanger in his room. And look, here’s a hair from our dear Professor too.” George pulled a long black hair from the robes and laid it in front of his brother who looked absolutely stunned.
“You managed to do all that in this short time?” Fred sounded impressed. His brother had really put his heart and soul into this prank.
“Yeah, I had to set off seven Dungbombs right outside his door to get him out of there and will probably be held responsible for that for ages, seeing everything like that is always our fault, but it will be worth it.” George chuckled.
“So are you with me? You’ll do it?” George asked with eagerness.
“I’m supposed to do it?” Fred yelled, he had forgotten all about McGonagall now. “Why not you? It was your idea.”
“Because you’re the better at acting like these poor victims, and the bonus is that you’ll get to kiss a pretty girl.” George said with a flattery voice.
“Why, thanks…” Fred was still not convinced. “And who am I supposed to kiss? Just so you know, my last kiss still makes me want to vomit.”
“I’m pretty sure you’re not the only one that feels that way,” George looked as he was being sick. “But this time it’s Miss Ronton. Wouldn’t it be brilliant if Snape just walked up to her in the middle of the Great Hall and planted a big, wet one right on her?”
“Rhonda Ronton? I guess I can do that.” Fred considered it. “But I’m still not so sure this is a good idea, George.”
“I’ll do your homework for a week.” George suggested.
“If you throw in my detentions with Umbridge you’ve got yourself a deal.” Fred bargained.
“As long as I’m not supposed to be in the same one, agreed.” George nodded.
“Fine,” said Fred reluctantly. “Give me the potion. I’ll be the damn git. But how are we going to get him out of the Great Hall?”
“Leave that to me. I have a plan.” George smiled. “What you shall do is drink the potion just before dinner tomorrow, sit at the staff table, eat a little bit and then suddenly go over to the Ravenclaw table and kiss Rhonda Ronton. Do you think you could do that? You don’t even have to say anything. Just go over there and kiss her.”
Fred nodded.
“But you have to promise me that you never mention this to anyone.”
“Do you think I’m an idiot? Of course I won’t.” Fred was getting annoyed.
“Not even to me.” George continued. “You have to promise me that you don’t mention this to me either. You never know who might be watching, and you know Snape’s already suspicious.”
“Fine.” Fred agreed. “I promise.”
“Shake on it.” George held out his hand. “We will never talk about this, agreed?”
Fred took his brothers hand confusedly. “Agreed.”
“Okay, I have to get back to Flitwicks office now. See you later.” George jumped up from his chair and ran out of the room.
Ooo---ooo---ooo---ooo---ooO
In Filius Flitwick’s office, George Weasley had almost fallen asleep with his head on a desk. He had been waiting for almost twenty minutes for the Charms professor, but there was still no sign of him. George didn’t dare to leave either; he wouldn’t risk getting more detention this week. He suddenly jumped up when he felt a book whack the back of his head.
“Wake up sleepyhead,” Fred stood over him smiling.
“What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be with McGonagall. If she or Flitwick catches you…” George was rubbing his eyes to make sure that he was seeing right.
“Oh, I’ll be out of here in a minute. Don’t worry. McGonagall left a note saying she was running late, and I’d just had an epiphany.” Fred sat down next to his brother.
“Epiphany?”
“Yes, one final big bang prank to our dear Potions Master.” Fred smiled.
“I thought we gave that up. It was too risky.” George argued.
“But I have an idea for the most brilliant final of all. I think it’s time to bring out poor Rhonda Ronton again.” Fred wouldn’t let it go.
“Rhonda? Why?”
“That was the best one, don’t you think? I want her to declare her undying love for Snape in front of the entire school. That would be so awesome.”
“But she’ll get expelled! Or we would…”
“No, we’ll make sure that she has an alibi for not being there, so she’ll be off the hook in the end. I promise.”
“And even if we would want to do it, we’re out of potion. It would take more than a month to make, and not to mention all the hassle it would be for Tonks and Sirius?”
“Tonks and Sirius?” Fred looked confused.
“Yes, how else are we going to get the ingredients? Unless you want to break into Snape’s office, of course.” George answered.
Fred was quiet for a minute until he finally said. “Er… no of course I don’t want to do that. But we don’t have to hassle Sirius and Tonks. Look what I found?” He held up a phial. “I found one in our dorm. I had totally forgotten about this one.”
“One of the spare ones?” George asked.
“Yeah,” Fred agreed. “And I have a hair left over from last time we used Rhonda.” Fred held up a second phial and smiled. He handed it to George.
“Me?”
“Yes. I had to kiss the git, so you owe me one. Besides, you’re the better actor. I’ll take care of everything else. I have a plan to keep Rhonda and a friend away from the Great Hall at dinner tomorrow. So your part is to drink this just before dinner, sit down at the Ravenclaw table at dinner and act like Rhonda like last time. When dinner is at its busiest, stand up, get everyone’s attention and announce to the whole school your undying love for the sexy beast we all call Professor Snape.” Fred started laughing.
George took the phial. ”Fine, I’ll do it,” he sighed. “But only because you had to kiss the bastard.”
“Oh, it wasn’t that bad.” Fred said casually.
George gasped and looked at him in horror. “What?”
“Just kidding. Relax, brother. Just think about how awesome tomorrow’s going to be.”
“Well, I’ll be glad when it’s finished.” George admitted.
“Me too, but it’s Christmas soon, and I couldn’t bare going home without finishing this with style!” Fred chuckled. “But you have to promise me that you never talk about this to anyone.”
“Like I would have done that.”
Ooo---ooo---ooo---ooo---ooO
Fred Weasley lay in bed that night, not able to sleep. He thought about what he was supposed to do the following day, and he felt his stomach turn. He had a really bad feeling about this prank and was sure it was going to go horribly wrong. Why had he agreed to this? They were going to get expelled for sure.
The thought of his brother’s eagerness was perhaps the main reason why Fred had agreed to this madness. He had always felt that he was the initiator in this prank and that George had at times just reluctantly agreed to it. So now that his brother suddenly had come up with a prank so huge and done all that work, Fred felt obliged to go through with this. He owed his brother that much, even if he was sure that Snape would kill him, or Umbridge would have him sent to Azkaban. And George was right about one thing: If they managed to pull this off, it would be the prank of the millennium!
George Weasley was lying in his bed too. Wide awake. He was livid. He really didn’t want to do the final Polyjuice prank the following day. Snape was already suspicious and this would definitely expose them. Why had he agreed to this? So what if Fred had kissed Snape last time? It wasn’t as if George had forced him to do it? He still had a feeling that Fred was a bit too much into this prank for his own good.
But he would do it. Fred said he had taken care of everything, and he trusted him. Besides, it would be over after this time. At least George hoped so. But he was still mad at him and decided that this was the last time he would let his brother control him like that. After new years it would be no more Mister-Nice-George. If he didn’t want to do something, he would not do it!
“George,” Fred whispered.
“Umphg,” George grunted back.
“About this thing we’re doing tomorrow…” Fred started.
“We agreed not to talk about it, didn’t we?” George huffed back.
“Yes,” Fred answered.
“Then we are not going to talk about it. Good night.” George said and turned his back on his brother and pretended to be asleep.
Ooo---ooo---ooo---ooo---ooO
Fred Weasley looked at the time. Another twenty minutes until classes were done for the day. He glanced over at his brother who looked as he was thinking the exact same thing. A part of Fred couldn’t wait for Umbridge to finish the extremely boring Defence Against the Dark Arts-lesson, but another part of him didn’t want it to end ever. Dinner was coming up and although Fred could feel his stomach growl, he knew he was not going to get down a single pea.
He was feeling a mixture of excitement and fright about what he was about to do. He was terrified and had a really bad feeling, but at the same time he kept thinking about how brilliant the prank was if they actually managed to get away with it. He continued copying the text Toadface had set them to do, but had no idea what he was writing. A few minutes later Umbridge dismissed her class and the twins started packing up their things.
Out in the hallway both of them stopped and looked at each other.
“Er, I just have to go… you know.” George mumbled and left his brother.
“Yeah, me too,” Fred mumbled back and went towards the bathroom nearest the Great Hall.
He went into a cubicle and locked the door behind him. He pulled out the black robes from his book bag and slowly changed into the outfit. He put his own clothes back into the bag and took out the phials with the potion and the hair.
He swallowed hard and put the hair into the potion. Instantly it turned into something that reminded Fred of oil. He gathered himself and tossed down the potion. Even if this was hardly the first time drinking this stuff, Fred could never get used to it. And the very thought of drinking a part of Snape made the taste even worse.
He felt his skin prickle and knew that the changing had started.
After a few minutes Fred unlocked the door to the cubicle and went out and into the bathroom. He hid his bag in a corner and went over to the sinks and the mirrors. He looked up and looked straight into the face of Professor Severus Snape.
It was the weirdest thing Fred had ever seen, and he suddenly had an idea. He just had to try this. He looked in the mirror and smiled. The widest smile, the biggest grin he could muster. The look of the Potions Master smiling was the strangest picture ever. Fred started laughing, and the thought of Severus Snape standing there smiling and laughing made Fred feel a lot better. He could really do a lot of mayhem in this body if he wanted to. He just prayed that George did his part of the deal and kept the real Severus Snape a long way from the Great Hall.
Fred took a deep breath and put on a more typical Snape-face. Then he walked out of the bathroom and into the Great Hall.
No Snape was in sight, and Fred took his place at the staff table. The dinner appeared and people started filling their plates with various foods. Fred’s eyes glided across the room. It was a strange experience seeing the Great Hall from this angle. His eyes fell automatically on the Gryffindor table. There he could see Ron, Harry and Hermione sitting huddled together as usual. He saw Lee Jordan filling his plate. He looked quite alone, Fred thought and then it struck him that he didn’t see George anywhere. He searched the room, but couldn’t see his brother anywhere. And since Fred himself was at the staff table, it was no wonder Lee looked alone. Fred decided that George was probably off dealing with the keeping-Snape-away-from-the-Great-Hall-plan and continued looking at the house tables.
He noticed that Ginny was sending weird looks over to the Ravenclaw table, and noticed that she was looking at a boy he believed was called Michael Corner. He made a mental note to check up on this issue later and feed the boy some Noseblead Nougat or something. His eyes continued scrolling the Ravenclaw table and his eyes fell on Rhonda Ronton. Fred got a big knot in his stomach by the sudden reminder of the thing he was there to do. He looked at the poor girl. She looked completely lost and out of place. Everybody around her was talking, laughing and eating, but Rhonda looked pale and a bit shaky. She smiled politely to the Ravenclaws next to her, but Fred never saw her say anything.
He was brutally interrupted by Hagrid who nudged him and asked him to pass the salt. Fred just mumbled something he couldn’t even make out himself and passed Hagrid the salt shaker. He then realized that all the other members of staff had started eating a long time ago and his plate was still empty. He quickly grabbed some of the nearest dishes and took one bite, just to not drag any attention to himself. But Fred couldn’t eat much. His stomach would not be able to hold anything down at this state. So he sat there, pretending to eat and get distracted by everything and scowled at anyone that sent any kind of look in his direction.
His eyes fell back on the Ravenclaw table again. He located Rhonda Ronton and noticed that she looked less out of place now. She seemed to be joining in on the conversations, something that made Fred feel a lot better. This girl was going to get a major surprise in a few minutes and Fred would have felt a lot guiltier if he knew that the girl was struggling with a ton of other issues in addition to being kissed by a snarky teacher.
Fred forgot that he was impersonating Snape and continued to stare at Rhonda. He didn’t snap out of it before Rhonda Ronton’s look met his. They looked at each other for a minute before Rhonda suddenly winked at him. She gave him a seductive smile kept staring. Fred flinched. What had just happened? Why was she looking at him like that? She wasn’t supposed to look at him like that? He was Snape for Merlin’s sake. No student would look at Snape like that, would they?
Fred was confused. Did Rhonda Ronton actually like Snape? That would make this situation a lot different than they thought. Perhaps this was a bonus, Fred thought to himself. If this girl actually fancied Snape, then she would definitely not push him away when he would try to kiss her. He looked at the time. Fifty minutes had passed since he had drunk the potion, his time as Snape was almost up. It was now or never.
Fred gathered all his courage and rose from his seat. In all his concentration around the task he was about to complete he managed to knock over his chair and make a racket which made the whole room go quiet and everyone looked at him. He tried his best not to let it get to him and act as snapeish as he could. He kept his head held high and started walking from the staff table and headed for the Ravenclaw table. All eyes in the Great Hall were on him, and Fred felt nauseous.
Suddenly Rhonda Ronton got up and stepped onto the bench and then the table, making everyone look at her instead of the Potions Master. Fred stopped abruptly. What was going on? What was she doing? This would ruin his plan. He looked at the Ravenclaw girl standing on the table, totally terrified.
“Miss Ronton, will you please step down,” Minerva McGonagall called from the staff table.
“This will only take a minute, Professor,” the girl answered. “I just have to say something.”
The entire school was watching as the girl cleared her throat and pulled a piece of parchment out of her pocket.
“There is a man, who I deeply desire
A man that have set my poor heart on fire
He’s snarky and mean, but I want him to kiss me
And never again to ever dismiss me
I want him to rub my body with lotion
‘Cause everyone knows he’s the master of potion
I want to feel you and your every shape.
I love you forever, Severus Snape.”
The crowd started whispering like maniacs. Fred Weasley in Severus Snape’s body stood petrified glaring at the Ravenclaw girl who was still standing on the table.
This girl was really in love with Snape! Fred had to seize this opportunity. Maybe they would actually get away with this? He decided to go for it. He rushed over to the Ravenclaw table and climbed onto the table.
He grabbed Rhonda Ronton around the waist and felt the girl struggle to get out of his grip. But he held her firmly, noticing how much stronger the professor was, and kissed the squirming girl.
Fred noticed a lot flashing light coming from the Gryffindor table, and he heard the crowd gasp, but he didn’t let go of the girl until he heard Dumbledore call from the staff table: “Professor Snape and Miss Ronton, will you join me in my office, right now?”
“Just a moment, Professor Dumbledore,” a voice called from the other side of the room. Everyone turned their heads and looked at another Severus Snape standing in the doorway.
Severus Snape pointed his wand at the two people standing on the table and Fred felt his feet stick to the table. He couldn’t move. He noticed that Rhonda Ronton had the same problem. Fred was starting to panic. The two were stuck at the table as the real Severus Snape came closer.
“What is going on Severus?” Dumbledore looked confused.
“This behaviour is absolutely unacceptable,” Dolores Umbrigde exclaimed. “I would have to tell the ministry about this.” She got up and was about to leave the room when Dumbledore got her to sit down and listen to what the Professor had to say.
The two people on the table were writhing and squirming desperately to get away, but neither of them could move. They were pressed against each other and Fred felt Rhonda Ronton getting as desperate as him to get away.
“Well, as even the slowest of you have probably realized by now, is that that person is obviously not me.” Severus Snape spoke as he walked towards the Ravenclaw table. “But I’m not the only one that has been the object to this unbelievable childish prank. Will you come out, Miss Ronton.” ‘
The students and faculty turned their heads against the doorway again as the real Rhonda Ronton stepped into the room.
Fred’s heart sank. If that was Rhonda Ronton, that meant that this person standing pressed against his own body would have to be…
The thought made Fred want to throw up. He looked at the person next to him and saw that George had obviously figured this out before him because he looked the exact same way.
The two twins were standing on the table, all eyes on them and not able to move. Fred looked at his brother who looked back in contempt.
“I’m sorry,” Fred whispered to his brother.
“You should be,” George hissed back, and Fred saw that his twin was starting to change back into his normal self. He looked at his own hands and felt the change start on himself as well.
The crowd gasped as their Potions professor and the girl started changing into the Weasley twins. The Slytherin table burst out laughing, while the Gryffindors were still in shock by the whole thing.
“Well, it looks like there’s no more explaining to do,” Severus Snape smirked as he looked at the twins on the table.
“Well, Severus and Miss Ronton, will you still join me in my office?” Dumbledore couldn’t help but smile a little. “Mister Weasley and Mister Weasley will be joining us of course. The rest of you can go back to your meals if any of you are capable of eating after this incidence.”
Fred felt the spell lift and he could once again move his feet. But his hand was still stuck to George’s waist. The both of them threw themselves off the table and Fred grabbed the nearest goblet and tried to rinse the taste out of his mouth. He grabbed a napkin and tried to scrape his tongue. He looked at his brother right next to him, and he was doing the exact same thing. Meanwhile he could hear three of the four house tables laughing.
He glanced over at the Gryffindor table where the whole lot seemed to want to die of embarrassment. Their house would probably be struggling with negative house points for the rest of the year even if the twins weren’t around to see it.
Fred and George looked at each other and both tried desperately to pull away from the other, but Snape’s spell was too strong for them, and they had no chance. Minerva McGonagall led them out of the Great Hall and up to Professor Dumbledore’s office.
Ooo---ooo---ooo---ooo---ooO
“I must see I get a bit jealous watching you kiss this girl, Severus,” Remus chuckled. He was looking at one of the forty-seven photos Severus had managed to “confiscate” after the incident.
“Don’t try to be funny, Lupin,” Severus muttered. “I still can’t believe Albus didn’t expel the two mongrels.”
“Don’t be so bitter, Severus” Remus smiled at his lover. “You got your revenge and got to humiliate them in public. They won’t try messing with you or anybody else for a very long time after this.”
“I know, but I still have to see their freckled faces every day.” Severus sighed. “The only comfort is that Umbridge is keeping an even closer eye on them now.”
“Well, order meetings will surely never be the same after this,” Remus sniggered. “I still can’t face Molly without chocking back a laugh.”
“Well, maybe this will shut her up for a while,” Severus grinned.
“You are a genius, Severus,” Remus kissed him gently. “Has anybody told you that?”
“Not this week, no.” Severus laughed.
“Do you have any more of that potion by the way?” Remus asked him.
“Why?” Severus answered sceptical.
“Oh, nothing, I just have a little plan of my own.” Remus winked. “I think it’s about high time that Sirius gets a little taste of his own medicine.”
“I’m beginning to think I’m a bad influence on you, Lupin,” Severus chuckled.
“Oh, you should have known, Severus.” Remus smiled and squeezed his lover in a tight hug.
no subject
[Everyone turned their heads and looked at another Severus Snape standing in the doorway.] OK I admit I thought this might happe but not in the way it unfolded here. I like your way far better.
Severus having a bad influence on Remus at the end was cute. I also loved the "forty-seven photos Severus had managed to “confiscate” after the incident." ROFL
Good SBB, very good.
no subject
I want to see Colin's pictures. That boy can really come in handy in fics ;D
Thank you for your awesome reviews ;D
no subject
I love the whole plan Severus (you!) had.
The end is sweet. Bad influence, huh? xD
no subject
Glad I can make people laugh. That's my goal :)
I really believe that those to rub off on each other.