Polyjuice Mayhem - part 1
Feb. 7th, 2010 11:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
snapealinaTitle: Polyjuice Mayhem
Author: snapealina
Beta:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
valkyriekat
Cheerleader:lindeluren
Genre: humour (with a hint of romance) • Rating: PG-13 • Warnings: massive use of Polyjuice Potion! Beware of silliness and some light slash, male x male kissing
Pairing: Severus/the twins, Severus/Remus • Characters: Severus, Fred, George, Remus, some OCs and other students and staff at Hogwarts.
Word Count: 13450
Summary: The Weasley-twins wants revenge on Severus, but you don’t mess with Severus Snape and get away with it!
A/N: A big thank you goes tovalkyriekat and lindeluren for all your help and incredible patience! I could not have done this without the two of you!
I hope you all like the final product.
Enjoy :)
Polyjuice Mayhem
Part I
“Well, I’m still giving it a try. Who’s with me?” Fred decided to ignore Ginny’s warning. He wanted to listen to this Order meeting.
“I’m in!” Harry said at once, quickly followed by George and Ron. The two girls sighed, but followed the boys into the hallway anyway.
Fred dropped one end of the Ears over the rail, and together with George tried to steer them in the direction of the kitchen door, something Crookshanks found very amusing. The cat jumped at the fleshy string and started attacking it. George reacted on impulse and sent a stunning spell at the cat, which froze immediately.
“Oh, sorry Hermione,” George turned to the girl who looked as if she was about to explode. “Er… I’ll Rennervate him later. I promise!”
They finally managed to sneak the Ears through the door. They could hear voices arguing, but couldn’t make out what they were saying. The Ears were wriggling and searching for better reception when, all of a sudden, it all went quiet. A bit too quiet. The twins steered the Ears around to get the sound back, and Ron looked down to see if Crookshanks was at it again, but the cat was still stunned.
Suddenly an odd beeping sound started coming from the ears, and quickly it grew louder and louder before it ended with a huge bang and the speaker blasted open.
The kids jumped back covering their ears. Ron was on the floor writhing in pain while Hermione and Ginny was checking if he was ok. Harry and the twins looked down at the kitchen door and noticed that the string had changed from a pale fleshy colour to jet black.
The kitchen door burst open and out came Severus Snape followed by Molly Weasley. The twins and Harry ducked, but it was too late.
“Not so fast!” Molly Weasley yelled. “Get down here at once. All of you!” The kids walked slowly down the stairs, heads hung lowly. Snape nodded towards Molly and bid them all good night before the turned around and headed towards the door with a snarky smirk on his face.
“Greasy git,” George muttered as Snape left Number 12 Grimmauld Place.
“That was the last one,” Fred sighed and sat down on the stairs. George followed. “Honestly, he’s worse than Mum.”
“What? He’s done it before? Harry asked surprisingly.
“Oh yeah,” the twins chorused.
“And not only the Extendable Ears, I might add,” Fred continued. “We have the Sneaking Snakes, the Worming Wireless Walkie-Talkies, the Rolling Recorders, all of our spying equipment.”
“Don’t forget the Creeping Cameras” George interrupted.
“What happened?” asked Harry.
“We really don’t want to go into it right now, if you don’t mind.” George sighed. “Let’s just say that it involves Snape, the Creeping Cameras and an awful lot of Shrinking Solution. We’ve looked everywhere for them.” The twins moaned in unison, their heads in their hands, looking miserable.
Mrs. Weasley called for dinner and Harry, Ginny, Ron and Hermione left the twins moping on the stairs.
Ooo---ooo---ooo---ooo---ooO
After a couple of minutes Fred got up. “You know, George. We’ve got to do something about that old, greasy wanker.”
George followed his lead. “You’re right, Fred. He can’t go around stuffing other people’s lives up like that, just because he’s a miserable old git. That man really needs to loosen up and get laid or something…”
Fred’s eyes lit up and a mischievous grin appeared on his face. “That’s it!”
George looked puzzled? “What?”
“Get laid!” Fred explained.
George was utterly shocked at his brother’s comment. “Don’t tell me you want to shag that greasy bastard?”
“Not me, you idiot, but we’ll find someone that will.”
“And who in their right mind would want to do that?”
Fred’s smiled vanished. “You’re right. No one’s that desperate…”
“And is the point to punish him, or to reward him?” George followed.
“Punish!” they both said in unison.
“Then we need to come up with another plan. I want revenge!”
“Me too!”
They went downstairs to join the rest for dinner.
Later that evening Fred and George Weasley lay in their beds in their bedroom at Grimmauld Place. They had finally been let in on the whole order business thanks to Sirius and Harry and neither could sleep with their minds full of thoughts.
“Well, at least now we don’t need our spying devices anymore,” Fred said suddenly.
“I still want revenge, though,” said his brother.
“Yeah, me too,” Fred agreed
They both lay for a while, staring at the ceiling. George had almost fallen asleep when his brother suddenly sat upright in his bed shouting. “I’ve got it!!!”
George woke with a start, yawned and turned to his twin. “Got what?”
“How we can punish Snape.”
George suddenly felt a lot more awake and sat up. “How?”
Fred grinned. “It was your idea actually…”
“Mine?” George looked puzzled.
“Yes, what you said about getting him laid.” Fred chuckled.
“But I thought the whole idea was to punish him, not reward him.” George interrupted.
“Absolutely! And that’s why we won’t get him laid; only let him think that he might get some.” Fred continued. ”Think about it, George. What greater punishment is there than to think that someone actually fancies you, I doubt that anyone ever has, and then have it all taken away from you?”
“You’re definitely on to something, Fred,” George agreed. “But how are you planning to do that? You’re not planning on coming on to him right? That would make me vomit!”
“Well, sort of…” Fred admitted. “And I was hoping you would to…”
“WHAT? Are you crazy?” George shouted. “I’m not flirting with Snape! Forget it!”
“Keep your voice down, dear brother. We can’t have you shouting about flirting with Snape, can we?” Fred laughed.
“But… what?” George was still disgusted at the thought.
“Hear me out,” Fred continued. “We’ll have several people flirting with Snape, making him feel popular and, without doubt, uncomfortable. That will totally drive him crazy in one way or another… Think about it, George. That greasy git will get so much attention he will either explode or get really conceited, and then we’ll find a way of publish this to the entire world, or at least the entire school, which is probably just as bad…It’s bloody brilliant!” Fred looked quite happy with himself.
George wasn’t convinced. “You just keep forgetting one tiny little detail, Fred. No one in their right mind would flirt with Snape, not even if we paid them!”
“But that’s the best part; we don’t need a lot of people. We only need us.” Fred grinned widely.
“I’m not doing it! I don’t want that greasy git to think that I’m in love with him. Ew… just the thought of it… ewwwww…” George looked like he was going to be sick.
“He won’t know that it’s you, of course. We’ll use Polyjuice potion.” Fred laughed heartily.
“Polyjuice potion?”
“Yes, that’s the whole point. You and I will be able to appear as whoever we want, and Snape will never know what hit him. Isn’t it brilliant?”
“So I still have to flirt with Snape?” George asked sceptical.
“Yes, but he won’t know that it’s you, and I won’t force you to snog him or anything. Come on, George, it would be fun. Think of all the fun we’ll get to have, and how furious he will get?”
“You’re getting a bit to keen on this idea, brother. I’m starting to wonder if you actually want to snog this fellow.”
“I will if it’s necessary.”
“What?”
“Kidding!”
“Oh? Ok…” George wasn’t convinced.
“I’m not saying we are, but if we were to do this… plan of yours, how on earth are we going to get hold of Polyjuice potion. And by the sound of it, we need a lot!”
“That, my brother,” Fred yawned. “is a question for tomorrow. G’night.”
“Goodnight,” George replied. But it was hours before he finally fell asleep. Had his brother actually been serious about this?
Ooo---ooo---ooo---ooo---ooO
It turned out, he was. Because the next morning after eating breakfast, Fred and George grabbed Harry and Ron and pulled them out to the hallway.
“Rumour has it that you two know how to brew Polyjuice potion.” Fred said in a flattery way.
“We know you and Hermione made it in your second year.” George continued. “It’s time to let your two favourite guys in on the secret how you did that.”
“Ehm, I don’t know you guys,” Harry hesitated. “It’s a very complicated potion and I don’t know if I should…”
“Oh, come on, Harry,” Fred interrupted. “You can tell us!”
“Well, Hermione found it in a book in the restricted section; it’s called ‘The Moste Impossible Potions Ever’ or something. You have to ask her.” Ron explained.
Fred groaned. “But she will never tell us, you know that. Can’t you ask her? She’s your girlfriend.”
“Hermione is not my girlfriend.” Ron answered in a panicky way.
“Whatever,” George rolled his eyes. “So will you ask her?”
“At least get the title of the book, Ron. Even you can manage that much.” Fred mocked him.
Ooo---ooo---ooo---ooo---ooO
But Ron was unsuccessful in his mission. Hermione refused to tell him when she found out who really wanted to get their hands on the book.
After dinner, the twins sat at the table still discussing what to do. They were so caught up in their own conversation they didn’t notice that Sirius Black had re-entered the dining room.
“So, what are you two whispering about?” he asked the twins, grabbing a chair and settled himself next to them with a mischievous grin on his face.
The twins reacted in unison. “Nothing.”
“Right…” Sirius chuckled. “Come on. Let me in on the good stuff. I’m going crazy here, locked up in this awful house, I need some fun.”
The twins looked at each other, but hesitated.
“Maybe he can help, Fred.” George said. “We could use with some outside help.”
Fred hesitated for a while before he finally went for it. “Do you know anything about making Polyjuice potion?”
“Well, Potions was never my strongest subject and I have never tried to make it myself...”
The twins sighed.
“…but there are probably some Potions books in my brother Regulus’ room.” Sirius continued.
The twins’ faces lit up.
“He was more of a Potions geek than me. Probably a Slytherin thing, I bet Snivellus rubbed off on him. I can picture the two of them brewing dark, illegal potions in their common room.” Sirius shrugged at the thought. “But you can just take the books. The room is on the third floor. Knock yourself out.”
He didn’t even get to ask what they were doing with the potion before the twins were halfway up the stairs to Regulus’ room.
Ooo---ooo---ooo---ooo---ooO
“Whoa,” said Fred. “This must be what the Slytherin common room looks like.” He turned to his brother who stood gasping in the doorway. “Look at all this stuff. He must really have been into the Dark Arts.”
The twins walked into the room looking at all the Slytherin banners and strange objects placed across the room. They walked up to the bookshelf and started looking for Potions books.
After a couple of minutes they had found none less than three books, none of which they had been using at Hogwarts. They sat down on the floor flipping through the pages looking for the Polyjuice potion.
“Ew, this is disgusting,” George said with a sceptical frown on his face. “There is a potion here that makes your intestines come out of your ears if you don’t take a bath at the exact time each day for a week. Who comes up with this stuff?”
“Maybe that’s the potion we should make for Snape, he wouldn’t last a day.” Fred joked, but was not met with appreciation.
“That’s not funny, Fred. This is really creepy magic. No wonder they don’t use these books at school.” George was really worried.
“Yes, he was kind of creepy, my brother.” Sirius was standing in the doorway looking at his brother’s room. He hadn’t been in there for years. He walked in and sat down on the floor next to the bewildered looking twins. He picked up the third book, Moste Potente Potions, and started flipping through the pages.
“So, what are you planning on doing with this Polyjuice Potion exactly?” Sirius asked.
“Sorry, but we can’t tell you.” George said apologetic.
“I heard you mentioning Snape when I came up here. Does this have anything to do with him by any chance?” Sirius didn’t want the twins to get away too easily.
Fred and George looked at each other. “No!” both said, quite unconvincingly.
Sirius laughed. “I knew it! You guys are planning something and it involves Snape. Please, let me be a part of it!” He was practically begging them now.
“I’m sorry, Sirius, but we can’t.” Fred answered.
The twins went back to flipping through the books when Sirius suddenly jumped to his feet and started laughing. “Well, if you don’t let me in on your little secret, you won’t get the recipe for the potion.” He said gripping the book tightly to his chest, sporting a mischievous smile that the twins could only dream of.
They got to their feet quickly. “You found it?” Fred asked in disbelief. Sirius grinned even harder and nodded.
Ooo---ooo---ooo---ooo---ooO
Half an hour later, the twins had unwillingly let Sirius in on their plan. He came with suggestions to how they could collect hair or other parts of people they would turn into, how to get the ingredients and even how to get clothes. He seemed almost a bit too much into the idea. But at least now they had help.
The following days was used to make lists and plans over their upcoming prank. The twins had stocked up on all their Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes candy like Fever Fudge, Nosebleed Nougat and Puking Pastilles. These were perfect for making sure that the “Polyjuice victims” didn’t come strolling into the room by accident.
The biggest problem was where and when to brew the potion. They couldn’t start brewing it in Grimmauld Place, because school was starting in a week, and they hadn’t been able to get all the ingredients yet. They needed more help. Help from someone that wasn’t going to Hogwarts and someone that wasn’t supposed to be in jail. Of course Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were out of the question, Mad Eye would probably blow up if they mentioned anything, even if he didn’t trust Snape one bit, and Mundungus shouldn’t be trusted with anything this important.
“And don’t tell Remus either!” Sirius warned. “He’s just too much into rules and such. He would probably go tell Molly and stop this whole thing. And he’s strangely way too protective of Snivellus.”
“I got it!” Fred said after the three of them had been turning their brains inside out for ideas. “Tonks!”
Ooo---ooo---ooo---ooo---ooO
The morning on the first of September Number 12 Grimmauld Place was in utter chaos. The house had never been calm, but ever since Harry’s hearing, the Boggart, and the fact that Ickle Ronnie had become Prefect, Molly Weasley hadn’t stopped fussing over everything.
On their way out of the door, Fred and George made sure they were the last ones to leave so none of the others could see that Tonks slipped a tiny parcel into Fred’s bag.
“Good luck,” Tonks whispered. “I’ll owl you the rest of the stuff as soon as I can get my hands on them.”
“And we demand reports,” Sirius chuckled lightly.
“We will,” Fred promised before he and George joined the rest of the group and headed towards King’s Cross.
Ooo---ooo---ooo---ooo---ooO
Aboard the Hogwarts Express, Fred and George hoped to find a compartment by themselves, but everywhere was taken. They decided to sit with a bunch of giggling fourth year Ravenclaw girls. This way they could sit in a corner and not be disturbed while planning what Fred called their new hair collection. Fred pulled out a little red book to take notes.
“Now, we need a list over the girls we want to make a move on Snape, and try to get hair or something else from them.” Fred whispered.
“It can’t be just anybody,” George said. “He will understand that there’s something wrong at once.”
Fred agreed. Picking out a Hufflepuff first year would be a big mistake. A first year Slytherin, on the other hand, would be perfect. A poor little Slytherin girl having a crush on her Head of House. The twins chuckled at the thought.
“We can use some of the teachers,” George suggested. They looked at each other and exclaimed “Trelawney” at the same time.
“What about McGonagall?” Fred asked. “It’s a bit risky, but it would be awesome, don’t you think?” George reluctantly agreed to put her name on the list.
The twins sat for a while, thinking about who they would pick to go on their list when the doors to their compartment suddenly opened. Ron and Hermione peered through the door opening and everyone fell quiet.
“Is everything alright here?” Hermione asked flashing her Prefect badge. Ron stood behind her obviously embarrassed.
“What are you two doing here?” She asked the twins.
“We are on our way to school, Hermione. What are you doing here?” Fred answered cheekily.
“Oh, you know very well what I mean,” Hermione said annoyed.
“No, we don’t,” George smiled back.
“What are you doing in a compartment full of Ravenclaw girls? Are you trying to get them to be your lab rats?” Hermione frowned. “Have these two tried to make you do things? Eat weird looking candy or anything?”
The confused Ravenclaw girls shook their heads and Hermione looked at the twins again.
“You two are up to something, and I’m going to find out what.” Hermione stated. “I’m a Prefect and it’s my duty to stop you if you are doing something you’re not supposed to.”
“And since when is it a crime to sit with Ravenclaws?” George asked.
“Come on, Hermione, let’s go,” Ron interrupted.
Fred rose from his seat and walked towards her. He put her arm around Hermione and said mockingly: “Yes, listen to little Prefect Ronniekins, Hermione.” Fred noticed that his little brother got even redder in his face.
Hermione looked at him suspiciously again but turned around to walk out of the compartment. Fred patted her on the back and said, “That’s a good girl, go annoy someone else.”
“Don’t think that I will let you off this easily,” Hermione told them before she turned to Ron. “And you aren’t exactly helping, Ron.”
“What do you want me to do?” Ron asked bewildered. But they never got to hear Hermione’s answer before Fred closed the door on them and went back to his seat.
“What was that all about?” George was confused.
Fred laid a long brown hair in the book and whispered. “The first one in our collection.”
The twins grinned widely.
Ooo---ooo---ooo---ooo---ooO
The welcome feast was almost as every other welcome feast except that everyone seemed a lot tenser that they were used to. The fact that Cedric Diggory had been killed last year, that Voldemort had returned and the Ministry now started to interfere at Hogwarts through that awful Umbrigde woman really put a damper on the mood. Fred and George Weasley, however, had big plans. They wouldn’t let any Dark Lords or pink witches stop them from getting back at their former Potion professor and to have fun in the process.
They had heard from Ron that the girls’ bathroom on the second floor was perfect if you wanted to do something others shouldn’t know about. Of course they had to put up with Moaning Myrtle, but they made a deal with her. She would let them stay there and brew their potion if they could get her a date with Harry Potter. The twins had conveniently forgotten to tell Harry about the arrangement, but that was a problem they would deal with later.
The first weeks after term started, strange things started happening at Hogwarts. There were whispers that Winstina Wobbleton, a tiny second year Hufflepuff, had been chased out of the bathroom by Moaning Myrtle, and that Myrtle threw one of her famous tantrums every time someone came through the door. Fred and George knew then that their agreement with the loony ghost was working perfectly.
Mysteriously robes from different houses started disappearing along with badges, ties, and other uniform related items. Professor Trelawney was going crazy looking for her glasses and her favourite scarf, while McGonagall threatened with detention for everyone if her hat didn’t appear back on her desk within two hours.
Author: snapealina
Beta:
valkyriekat Cheerleader:
lindeluren Genre: humour (with a hint of romance) • Rating: PG-13 • Warnings: massive use of Polyjuice Potion! Beware of silliness and some light slash, male x male kissing
Pairing: Severus/the twins, Severus/Remus • Characters: Severus, Fred, George, Remus, some OCs and other students and staff at Hogwarts.
Word Count: 13450
Summary: The Weasley-twins wants revenge on Severus, but you don’t mess with Severus Snape and get away with it!
A/N: A big thank you goes to
valkyriekat and lindeluren for all your help and incredible patience! I could not have done this without the two of you! I hope you all like the final product.
Enjoy :)
Polyjuice Mayhem
Part I
“Well, I’m still giving it a try. Who’s with me?” Fred decided to ignore Ginny’s warning. He wanted to listen to this Order meeting.
“I’m in!” Harry said at once, quickly followed by George and Ron. The two girls sighed, but followed the boys into the hallway anyway.
Fred dropped one end of the Ears over the rail, and together with George tried to steer them in the direction of the kitchen door, something Crookshanks found very amusing. The cat jumped at the fleshy string and started attacking it. George reacted on impulse and sent a stunning spell at the cat, which froze immediately.
“Oh, sorry Hermione,” George turned to the girl who looked as if she was about to explode. “Er… I’ll Rennervate him later. I promise!”
They finally managed to sneak the Ears through the door. They could hear voices arguing, but couldn’t make out what they were saying. The Ears were wriggling and searching for better reception when, all of a sudden, it all went quiet. A bit too quiet. The twins steered the Ears around to get the sound back, and Ron looked down to see if Crookshanks was at it again, but the cat was still stunned.
Suddenly an odd beeping sound started coming from the ears, and quickly it grew louder and louder before it ended with a huge bang and the speaker blasted open.
The kids jumped back covering their ears. Ron was on the floor writhing in pain while Hermione and Ginny was checking if he was ok. Harry and the twins looked down at the kitchen door and noticed that the string had changed from a pale fleshy colour to jet black.
The kitchen door burst open and out came Severus Snape followed by Molly Weasley. The twins and Harry ducked, but it was too late.
“Not so fast!” Molly Weasley yelled. “Get down here at once. All of you!” The kids walked slowly down the stairs, heads hung lowly. Snape nodded towards Molly and bid them all good night before the turned around and headed towards the door with a snarky smirk on his face.
“Greasy git,” George muttered as Snape left Number 12 Grimmauld Place.
“That was the last one,” Fred sighed and sat down on the stairs. George followed. “Honestly, he’s worse than Mum.”
“What? He’s done it before? Harry asked surprisingly.
“Oh yeah,” the twins chorused.
“And not only the Extendable Ears, I might add,” Fred continued. “We have the Sneaking Snakes, the Worming Wireless Walkie-Talkies, the Rolling Recorders, all of our spying equipment.”
“Don’t forget the Creeping Cameras” George interrupted.
“What happened?” asked Harry.
“We really don’t want to go into it right now, if you don’t mind.” George sighed. “Let’s just say that it involves Snape, the Creeping Cameras and an awful lot of Shrinking Solution. We’ve looked everywhere for them.” The twins moaned in unison, their heads in their hands, looking miserable.
Mrs. Weasley called for dinner and Harry, Ginny, Ron and Hermione left the twins moping on the stairs.
Ooo---ooo---ooo---ooo---ooO
After a couple of minutes Fred got up. “You know, George. We’ve got to do something about that old, greasy wanker.”
George followed his lead. “You’re right, Fred. He can’t go around stuffing other people’s lives up like that, just because he’s a miserable old git. That man really needs to loosen up and get laid or something…”
Fred’s eyes lit up and a mischievous grin appeared on his face. “That’s it!”
George looked puzzled? “What?”
“Get laid!” Fred explained.
George was utterly shocked at his brother’s comment. “Don’t tell me you want to shag that greasy bastard?”
“Not me, you idiot, but we’ll find someone that will.”
“And who in their right mind would want to do that?”
Fred’s smiled vanished. “You’re right. No one’s that desperate…”
“And is the point to punish him, or to reward him?” George followed.
“Punish!” they both said in unison.
“Then we need to come up with another plan. I want revenge!”
“Me too!”
They went downstairs to join the rest for dinner.
Later that evening Fred and George Weasley lay in their beds in their bedroom at Grimmauld Place. They had finally been let in on the whole order business thanks to Sirius and Harry and neither could sleep with their minds full of thoughts.
“Well, at least now we don’t need our spying devices anymore,” Fred said suddenly.
“I still want revenge, though,” said his brother.
“Yeah, me too,” Fred agreed
They both lay for a while, staring at the ceiling. George had almost fallen asleep when his brother suddenly sat upright in his bed shouting. “I’ve got it!!!”
George woke with a start, yawned and turned to his twin. “Got what?”
“How we can punish Snape.”
George suddenly felt a lot more awake and sat up. “How?”
Fred grinned. “It was your idea actually…”
“Mine?” George looked puzzled.
“Yes, what you said about getting him laid.” Fred chuckled.
“But I thought the whole idea was to punish him, not reward him.” George interrupted.
“Absolutely! And that’s why we won’t get him laid; only let him think that he might get some.” Fred continued. ”Think about it, George. What greater punishment is there than to think that someone actually fancies you, I doubt that anyone ever has, and then have it all taken away from you?”
“You’re definitely on to something, Fred,” George agreed. “But how are you planning to do that? You’re not planning on coming on to him right? That would make me vomit!”
“Well, sort of…” Fred admitted. “And I was hoping you would to…”
“WHAT? Are you crazy?” George shouted. “I’m not flirting with Snape! Forget it!”
“Keep your voice down, dear brother. We can’t have you shouting about flirting with Snape, can we?” Fred laughed.
“But… what?” George was still disgusted at the thought.
“Hear me out,” Fred continued. “We’ll have several people flirting with Snape, making him feel popular and, without doubt, uncomfortable. That will totally drive him crazy in one way or another… Think about it, George. That greasy git will get so much attention he will either explode or get really conceited, and then we’ll find a way of publish this to the entire world, or at least the entire school, which is probably just as bad…It’s bloody brilliant!” Fred looked quite happy with himself.
George wasn’t convinced. “You just keep forgetting one tiny little detail, Fred. No one in their right mind would flirt with Snape, not even if we paid them!”
“But that’s the best part; we don’t need a lot of people. We only need us.” Fred grinned widely.
“I’m not doing it! I don’t want that greasy git to think that I’m in love with him. Ew… just the thought of it… ewwwww…” George looked like he was going to be sick.
“He won’t know that it’s you, of course. We’ll use Polyjuice potion.” Fred laughed heartily.
“Polyjuice potion?”
“Yes, that’s the whole point. You and I will be able to appear as whoever we want, and Snape will never know what hit him. Isn’t it brilliant?”
“So I still have to flirt with Snape?” George asked sceptical.
“Yes, but he won’t know that it’s you, and I won’t force you to snog him or anything. Come on, George, it would be fun. Think of all the fun we’ll get to have, and how furious he will get?”
“You’re getting a bit to keen on this idea, brother. I’m starting to wonder if you actually want to snog this fellow.”
“I will if it’s necessary.”
“What?”
“Kidding!”
“Oh? Ok…” George wasn’t convinced.
“I’m not saying we are, but if we were to do this… plan of yours, how on earth are we going to get hold of Polyjuice potion. And by the sound of it, we need a lot!”
“That, my brother,” Fred yawned. “is a question for tomorrow. G’night.”
“Goodnight,” George replied. But it was hours before he finally fell asleep. Had his brother actually been serious about this?
Ooo---ooo---ooo---ooo---ooO
It turned out, he was. Because the next morning after eating breakfast, Fred and George grabbed Harry and Ron and pulled them out to the hallway.
“Rumour has it that you two know how to brew Polyjuice potion.” Fred said in a flattery way.
“We know you and Hermione made it in your second year.” George continued. “It’s time to let your two favourite guys in on the secret how you did that.”
“Ehm, I don’t know you guys,” Harry hesitated. “It’s a very complicated potion and I don’t know if I should…”
“Oh, come on, Harry,” Fred interrupted. “You can tell us!”
“Well, Hermione found it in a book in the restricted section; it’s called ‘The Moste Impossible Potions Ever’ or something. You have to ask her.” Ron explained.
Fred groaned. “But she will never tell us, you know that. Can’t you ask her? She’s your girlfriend.”
“Hermione is not my girlfriend.” Ron answered in a panicky way.
“Whatever,” George rolled his eyes. “So will you ask her?”
“At least get the title of the book, Ron. Even you can manage that much.” Fred mocked him.
Ooo---ooo---ooo---ooo---ooO
But Ron was unsuccessful in his mission. Hermione refused to tell him when she found out who really wanted to get their hands on the book.
After dinner, the twins sat at the table still discussing what to do. They were so caught up in their own conversation they didn’t notice that Sirius Black had re-entered the dining room.
“So, what are you two whispering about?” he asked the twins, grabbing a chair and settled himself next to them with a mischievous grin on his face.
The twins reacted in unison. “Nothing.”
“Right…” Sirius chuckled. “Come on. Let me in on the good stuff. I’m going crazy here, locked up in this awful house, I need some fun.”
The twins looked at each other, but hesitated.
“Maybe he can help, Fred.” George said. “We could use with some outside help.”
Fred hesitated for a while before he finally went for it. “Do you know anything about making Polyjuice potion?”
“Well, Potions was never my strongest subject and I have never tried to make it myself...”
The twins sighed.
“…but there are probably some Potions books in my brother Regulus’ room.” Sirius continued.
The twins’ faces lit up.
“He was more of a Potions geek than me. Probably a Slytherin thing, I bet Snivellus rubbed off on him. I can picture the two of them brewing dark, illegal potions in their common room.” Sirius shrugged at the thought. “But you can just take the books. The room is on the third floor. Knock yourself out.”
He didn’t even get to ask what they were doing with the potion before the twins were halfway up the stairs to Regulus’ room.
Ooo---ooo---ooo---ooo---ooO
“Whoa,” said Fred. “This must be what the Slytherin common room looks like.” He turned to his brother who stood gasping in the doorway. “Look at all this stuff. He must really have been into the Dark Arts.”
The twins walked into the room looking at all the Slytherin banners and strange objects placed across the room. They walked up to the bookshelf and started looking for Potions books.
After a couple of minutes they had found none less than three books, none of which they had been using at Hogwarts. They sat down on the floor flipping through the pages looking for the Polyjuice potion.
“Ew, this is disgusting,” George said with a sceptical frown on his face. “There is a potion here that makes your intestines come out of your ears if you don’t take a bath at the exact time each day for a week. Who comes up with this stuff?”
“Maybe that’s the potion we should make for Snape, he wouldn’t last a day.” Fred joked, but was not met with appreciation.
“That’s not funny, Fred. This is really creepy magic. No wonder they don’t use these books at school.” George was really worried.
“Yes, he was kind of creepy, my brother.” Sirius was standing in the doorway looking at his brother’s room. He hadn’t been in there for years. He walked in and sat down on the floor next to the bewildered looking twins. He picked up the third book, Moste Potente Potions, and started flipping through the pages.
“So, what are you planning on doing with this Polyjuice Potion exactly?” Sirius asked.
“Sorry, but we can’t tell you.” George said apologetic.
“I heard you mentioning Snape when I came up here. Does this have anything to do with him by any chance?” Sirius didn’t want the twins to get away too easily.
Fred and George looked at each other. “No!” both said, quite unconvincingly.
Sirius laughed. “I knew it! You guys are planning something and it involves Snape. Please, let me be a part of it!” He was practically begging them now.
“I’m sorry, Sirius, but we can’t.” Fred answered.
The twins went back to flipping through the books when Sirius suddenly jumped to his feet and started laughing. “Well, if you don’t let me in on your little secret, you won’t get the recipe for the potion.” He said gripping the book tightly to his chest, sporting a mischievous smile that the twins could only dream of.
They got to their feet quickly. “You found it?” Fred asked in disbelief. Sirius grinned even harder and nodded.
Ooo---ooo---ooo---ooo---ooO
Half an hour later, the twins had unwillingly let Sirius in on their plan. He came with suggestions to how they could collect hair or other parts of people they would turn into, how to get the ingredients and even how to get clothes. He seemed almost a bit too much into the idea. But at least now they had help.
The following days was used to make lists and plans over their upcoming prank. The twins had stocked up on all their Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes candy like Fever Fudge, Nosebleed Nougat and Puking Pastilles. These were perfect for making sure that the “Polyjuice victims” didn’t come strolling into the room by accident.
The biggest problem was where and when to brew the potion. They couldn’t start brewing it in Grimmauld Place, because school was starting in a week, and they hadn’t been able to get all the ingredients yet. They needed more help. Help from someone that wasn’t going to Hogwarts and someone that wasn’t supposed to be in jail. Of course Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were out of the question, Mad Eye would probably blow up if they mentioned anything, even if he didn’t trust Snape one bit, and Mundungus shouldn’t be trusted with anything this important.
“And don’t tell Remus either!” Sirius warned. “He’s just too much into rules and such. He would probably go tell Molly and stop this whole thing. And he’s strangely way too protective of Snivellus.”
“I got it!” Fred said after the three of them had been turning their brains inside out for ideas. “Tonks!”
Ooo---ooo---ooo---ooo---ooO
The morning on the first of September Number 12 Grimmauld Place was in utter chaos. The house had never been calm, but ever since Harry’s hearing, the Boggart, and the fact that Ickle Ronnie had become Prefect, Molly Weasley hadn’t stopped fussing over everything.
On their way out of the door, Fred and George made sure they were the last ones to leave so none of the others could see that Tonks slipped a tiny parcel into Fred’s bag.
“Good luck,” Tonks whispered. “I’ll owl you the rest of the stuff as soon as I can get my hands on them.”
“And we demand reports,” Sirius chuckled lightly.
“We will,” Fred promised before he and George joined the rest of the group and headed towards King’s Cross.
Ooo---ooo---ooo---ooo---ooO
Aboard the Hogwarts Express, Fred and George hoped to find a compartment by themselves, but everywhere was taken. They decided to sit with a bunch of giggling fourth year Ravenclaw girls. This way they could sit in a corner and not be disturbed while planning what Fred called their new hair collection. Fred pulled out a little red book to take notes.
“Now, we need a list over the girls we want to make a move on Snape, and try to get hair or something else from them.” Fred whispered.
“It can’t be just anybody,” George said. “He will understand that there’s something wrong at once.”
Fred agreed. Picking out a Hufflepuff first year would be a big mistake. A first year Slytherin, on the other hand, would be perfect. A poor little Slytherin girl having a crush on her Head of House. The twins chuckled at the thought.
“We can use some of the teachers,” George suggested. They looked at each other and exclaimed “Trelawney” at the same time.
“What about McGonagall?” Fred asked. “It’s a bit risky, but it would be awesome, don’t you think?” George reluctantly agreed to put her name on the list.
The twins sat for a while, thinking about who they would pick to go on their list when the doors to their compartment suddenly opened. Ron and Hermione peered through the door opening and everyone fell quiet.
“Is everything alright here?” Hermione asked flashing her Prefect badge. Ron stood behind her obviously embarrassed.
“What are you two doing here?” She asked the twins.
“We are on our way to school, Hermione. What are you doing here?” Fred answered cheekily.
“Oh, you know very well what I mean,” Hermione said annoyed.
“No, we don’t,” George smiled back.
“What are you doing in a compartment full of Ravenclaw girls? Are you trying to get them to be your lab rats?” Hermione frowned. “Have these two tried to make you do things? Eat weird looking candy or anything?”
The confused Ravenclaw girls shook their heads and Hermione looked at the twins again.
“You two are up to something, and I’m going to find out what.” Hermione stated. “I’m a Prefect and it’s my duty to stop you if you are doing something you’re not supposed to.”
“And since when is it a crime to sit with Ravenclaws?” George asked.
“Come on, Hermione, let’s go,” Ron interrupted.
Fred rose from his seat and walked towards her. He put her arm around Hermione and said mockingly: “Yes, listen to little Prefect Ronniekins, Hermione.” Fred noticed that his little brother got even redder in his face.
Hermione looked at him suspiciously again but turned around to walk out of the compartment. Fred patted her on the back and said, “That’s a good girl, go annoy someone else.”
“Don’t think that I will let you off this easily,” Hermione told them before she turned to Ron. “And you aren’t exactly helping, Ron.”
“What do you want me to do?” Ron asked bewildered. But they never got to hear Hermione’s answer before Fred closed the door on them and went back to his seat.
“What was that all about?” George was confused.
Fred laid a long brown hair in the book and whispered. “The first one in our collection.”
The twins grinned widely.
Ooo---ooo---ooo---ooo---ooO
The welcome feast was almost as every other welcome feast except that everyone seemed a lot tenser that they were used to. The fact that Cedric Diggory had been killed last year, that Voldemort had returned and the Ministry now started to interfere at Hogwarts through that awful Umbrigde woman really put a damper on the mood. Fred and George Weasley, however, had big plans. They wouldn’t let any Dark Lords or pink witches stop them from getting back at their former Potion professor and to have fun in the process.
They had heard from Ron that the girls’ bathroom on the second floor was perfect if you wanted to do something others shouldn’t know about. Of course they had to put up with Moaning Myrtle, but they made a deal with her. She would let them stay there and brew their potion if they could get her a date with Harry Potter. The twins had conveniently forgotten to tell Harry about the arrangement, but that was a problem they would deal with later.
The first weeks after term started, strange things started happening at Hogwarts. There were whispers that Winstina Wobbleton, a tiny second year Hufflepuff, had been chased out of the bathroom by Moaning Myrtle, and that Myrtle threw one of her famous tantrums every time someone came through the door. Fred and George knew then that their agreement with the loony ghost was working perfectly.
Mysteriously robes from different houses started disappearing along with badges, ties, and other uniform related items. Professor Trelawney was going crazy looking for her glasses and her favourite scarf, while McGonagall threatened with detention for everyone if her hat didn’t appear back on her desk within two hours.