Jan. 9th, 2012 11:41 pm
snapealina: (snupin snow)
[personal profile] snapealina
As a gift for the mods and elves of Snupin Santa and for Severus' birthday, I wrote this silly little thing here and I hope you will enjoy it.

Title: Silencio
Author: [ profile] snapealina
Pairing: Severus/Remus
Word count: 1566
Summary: Severus does not snore!
Warning: unbetaed (feel free to send me messages if you spot mistakes and I'll fix them asap)


"Severus," Remus whispered and gently stroke his partner's face.

The other man grunted in his sleep and turned around with his back to Remus.

The room was completely quiet and Remus prayed it would stay that way. He smiled and wrapped the duvet tighter around his body.

However, it took only a few seconds for the sound to return and Remus' smile vanished. Irritated, he turned to his partner, who had rolled on to his back again, and gave him a tiny nudge.

"Severus, please," Remus whispered.

Severus grunted again.

"You're snoring."

"I'm not," the other man mumbled, but turned on his side and went back to sleep.

Remus sighed with relief, but wondered how long it would last.

As he had feared, he only had the time to get somewhat comfortable before the familiar noise returned. Remus tried his best to ignore it, maybe he would fall asleep eventually and stop noticing.

That turned out to be impossible. The snoring seemed persistent to penetrate all his attempts of blocking it out. Remus was kicked under the covers and hissed swear words under his breath when Severus suddenly went quiet.

Remus sat up and looked at him. What had just happened? He shrugged and lay down on the bed.

"Finally," he picked up the duvet he had kicked to the floor and pulled it over himself. He had almost fallen asleep when Severus started again.

"You must be fucking kidding me!" Remus shouted and slammed his fist in the mattress.

"What are you yelling about?" Severus grumbled. "I'm trying to sleep here."

"So am I, but I can't because of your annoying snoring."

Severus sat up abruptly. "I do not snore!" he stated firmly and looked offended that Remus had even implied such a thing.

"No, of course not," said Remus annoyed. "It's only a tractor driving through your throat. Trust me, Severus. You're snoring!"

Severus scowled. "Look who's talking."

"My snoring is nothing compared to that!"

"I'm starting to get a cold," Severus said. "So excuse me."

"Fine," said Remus and turned to sleep. "But if you could give me the chance to fall asleep first so I might be able to ignore the sound of phlegm running through your respiratory system, I would very much appreciate it."

Severus hissed something incomprehensible and went to the bathroom.

Remus tucked himself in again and tried the best he could to fall asleep as quickly as possible.

Not surprisingly, he was unsuccessful, and Severus didn't exactly try to stay quiet as he returned either.

Severus, on the other hand, had no problem falling asleep, and minutes later, Remus was twisting and turning in bed, while Severus lay on his back, making noises that would have given even Hagrid a run for his money.

Remus couldn't take it anymore. He didn't like doing it, but it seemed like the only option. He reached for his wand and pointed it at Severus.


The man fell silent even if Remus could see from the way he was breathing that he was still snoring.

Carefully, Remus put his wand back on the table and under a minute later, he was out like a light.

Morning came way too quickly for Remus' liking and when he woke up Severus had already left the bed. He looked at the time.

"Eleven?" Remus jumped up. He couldn't believe he had slept this long. It was Saturday, but he had tons of errands to run, and he had an appointment with Hermione in Diagon Alley regarding a letter of reference for a job she was applying to.

Severus knew about this, why hadn't he woken him up?

Remus took it Severus was still mad at him for the argument they'd had the previous night and jumped in the shower before going downstairs to talk to him.

Severus was moving around in the kitchen when Remus came down. He was putting some clean glasses back in the cupboard when Remus wrapped his arms around him.

"Morning," Remus said and kissed him on the cheek. "I'm so sorry for arguing with you last night. How are you feeling? Is the cold any better?"

Severus didn't answer, and a slightly confused Remus let the man go.

"Have you eaten already?" Remus asked, but Severus didn't say anything. Remus was starting to get annoyed.

"You know, Severus," he said as he walked to the refrigerator to find himself breakfast. "I know we argued last night, but there's no reason for you to give me the silent treatment."

Severus left the room and Remus slammed the food on the table and went for a glass and a plate.

Why was Severus acting like this? Remus couldn't for the life of him think of why Severus had been so insulted. It wasn't like Severus didn't accuse him of snoring on a regular basis, it was only fair that Remus could do the same.

Suddenly Remus jumped up, knocking his chair over. He stormed into the sitting room, where Severus was sitting on the sofa reading the Daily Prophet.

"Oh, Severus, I'm so sorry, I completely forgot!" Remus said and pointed his wand at his partner. "Finite Incantatem."

Severus simply scowled at him.

"I'm sorry," Remus repeated. "I forgot. Please don't be mad."

Severus didn't answer, but started reading again.

"Severus?" Remus sat down next to him. "Please say something."


Remus saw Severus mouthing the words, but no sound came out. He gasped. "But I lifted the charm!"

Remus pointed his wand at Severus yet again, and said with a loud, clear voice. "Finite Incantatem. How about now?"

Severus' lips moved, but there was still no sound.

Remus was getting worried. "How can this be? I only cast a simple Silencing Charm on you. I didn't mean for it to last forever."

Severus' eyes darkened even more and Remus leapt to the bookshelf for one of the spell books.

He found the description of the charm immediately, but according to this book, the charm should be lifted easily and could also in some cases go away on its own after a few hours. Why wouldn't it let go of Severus?

Remus tried to think of other spells that could make Severus' voice come back and he fired them one by one at Severus, who after a while got so annoyed he took his wand away.

"Enough" he mouthed and walked into the kitchen with Remus' wand in his hand.

Remus sat down on the sofa and buried his head in his hands. How could he have let this happen?

He sent an owl to Hermione and asked if they could postpone the meeting to the next day and went to search the bookshelf for clues how to fix this.

This was embarrassing. He had been a defence teacher for Merlin's sake. How could he not know how to treat a simple silencing charm? The books gave him nothing and he was getting frustrated.

After a few hours Remus started to regret not meeting Hermione. Maybe she would have known something?

Severus kept his distance, and Remus was sure he was furious. A part of him wanted to ask Severus for ideas, but the man would have told him already if he knew anything. Severus would not walk around without a voice if he knew how to fix it. Remus didn't know who to ask if Severus didn't know the answer.

Remus insisted on cooking dinner that day, and he also did the dishes afterwards. It was the least he could do. Severus shouldn't be burdened with chores like that in his condition.

Eventually, evening came and the two men got ready for bed. Remus was exhausted from worrying about his partner, but he wondered if he was able to sleep at all. Tomorrow, he would Floo anyone he could think of anything to help him with the problem. He told Severus this, but the other man just rolled his eyes and picked up his book from the bedside table.

Remus flung his arms around Severus, who sat completely stiff and just waited for the awkward hug to end. Remus squeezed him tightly and nearly crying said: "I swear, if I can only find a solution to this, I will never use charms like that on you and never complain about you snoring ever again!"

"I do not snore!" came the deep voice and Remus released him at once.

"You talked!"

"Of course I talked," Severus simply said and looked at his book. "I've been able to talk since I was one and a half."

"But … the charm …"

"Do you really think that I wouldn't have been able to lift a stupid Silencing Charm, Lupin? I've been a teacher for too many years, don't you think I've been hit by many charms before?"

"But, why couldn't you talk today?"

"I could talk just fine. I just didn't want to."

"So you were just pretending?"

"Obviously," sneered Severus.

"The entire day?"


"Just to teach me a lesson?"

"Correct," Severus smirked. "And I recall hearing something about never complaining or using stupid charms on me ever again."

Remus stood up from the bed and stared at his partner. "I will stop complaining the day you stop snoring," he said and ran from the room dodging the pillow that came zooming past him.


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